there’s a method to madness. but not all methods are justifiable. i’m writing this, deprived of sleep, starving and needing a breakthrough, lol. i genuinely don’t know what this future of mine holds. hell, i barely know what this day holds. this vicious cycle of mine has to break at some point. don’t know when, but it’s storming outside and my only safe haven at the moment is a McDonald’s with a pavilion. i don’t have the energy or wherewithal to dress anything up with fancy jargon at the moment. nothing i feel like i can do or am doing needs any of that. i need peace. i need sanctity. i need more than this world can offer, that’s for sure. maybe i need to be left alone. maybe ill feel differently if i can get some sleep. i read a few hours ago about how sleep deprivation cause your brain to eat away at itself. that may explain where my mind has gone. it’s literally just gone at this point. i hope i can find an orange juice or something.
Monday, March 31, 2025
Saturday, March 29, 2025
common side effects.
death brings clarity. when things are as finite as life is, you come to terms with how you got to where you are when you know you aren’t gonna be here much longer. i feel like im getting closer and closer to that point. in the midst of constant anxiety, fear, uncertainty, confusion… there’s a sense of calm in the middle of the whirlwind. as life continues to pass by, day by day, not knowing Monday from Friday.. 2025 feels like it. my golden birthday last year felt like fool’s gold. like there’s a deeper meaning to all this, but my interpretation differs from everyone else’s. maybe what i’m meant to do with the rest of my time from hereonin is make sure the lives of the people that choose to have me around, is easier for now.. and subsequently after im gone. maybe my mind will change. maybe my heart will slow down. maybe my spirit will discover there’s more to it than this. but the thing is, i already know there’s more to this.
just not here.
♥️
- TG3